Product Description:
I recently handed one of these to a buddy—who’ll we leave nameless at this point, simply to protect his delicate identity—and he instantly gave me this half-ass, scrunched look and said, “C’mon Draplin, nail files?”

Like it was a bad thing?

I told him to calm the fuck down and put the thing in his dopp kit, and to forget about it. Cuz just wait until that fucker needs to work on sharp fingernail, or hell, sand down one of his gross, infected bunions he’s always complaining about. He won’t be questioning us at that point. He’ll be thankful that we were thinking about these sorts of things in our merch pursuits. That’s right, Dale, you little ragged-nailed weenie ball.

Product Details:
01. Standard-issue emery board, in a set of three.
02. 1-color imprint of “Burly Black” pad-printed onto “Way White” side.
03. 4-3/4" (W) × 1/2" (H) in dimension. Compact size.
04. Stiff enough for filing traction.
05. Fits all hand styles.
06. Both sides offer abrasive grit.
07. Technologically-speaking, “Not as dumb as our Two Bit Vinyl Card Case but still pretty dumb.”
08. Great item to stow away in that overpriced, artisinally-made waxed canvas dopp kit you just had to have.
09. Hand one to yer mom and watch her eyes light up.
10. Many uses. Here’s one: Calculated Prison Breaks.
11. Set of three emery boards. One for the homestead, the office and the dopp kit.
12. This one always goes over well with the ladies. That’s a hint, brothers: Makes a great gift for that better half of yers, who hates the ground you walk on.
13. Proudly manufactured and printed in the U.S.A.