DDC Open Road

From that first trip moving out west in 1993, to last summer when I drove the Gas Pig back to see Mom in Lake Ann, nothing beats a road trip. This weird suspended chunk of days, where the world whips by, and there’s always something new to see. (Well maybe not I-70 across Kansas…) And it’s funny how that back-n-forth travel becomes part of your being, of your contiguous United States identity. I live for those road trips. Seeing the America that’s often overlooked.

Road Trip Romanticism
and Reality

For the most part, I’ve had good luck out there. And as I age, I have to wonder what compelled me to leave the nest at such an early age. Sure, the short-term offered adventure and snowboarding with my buddies later that winter, but it’s the naive quality of youth that allows one to go for it. You don’t know what you don’t know. Cuz shit can be dangerous out there. Stories of buddies driving in the middle of night, seeing double and waking up in the median still haunt me. But I’m thankful we had the weird wanderlust inside us, and acted on it like we did.

I can still feel the pull of the open road right this very second. And the weird idea that things are just a little better out there in the in-betweens. And I’d argue, they are. Everything else in your life is on hold. “Both feet on the floor, two hands on the wheel,” is what Jar Farrar said. But the reality of the road is just one stray nail or monster pothole away.

Nothing like a flat tire in Burley, Idaho to piss in the punchbowl. Or getting pulled over in Greybull, Wyoming that one time for speeding—on the way out of town five miles past the city limits, mind you—and being extorted for an on-the-spot cash payment of my ticket. I know that money went right into that fucker’s pocket. Or that one time where I got pulled over and detained for having a license that was expired by one day, the officer demanded my van be towed and I would be driven to a hotel to crash and hit the courthouse the next morning. He had it all planned out for me. And yet how the tow truck driver told me, “If you just wait a bit, I’ll unload the car and you can take off in the opposite direction.” Yeah, right. Those assholes were working together in New Hampshire that night. “Just take me to the hotel, man." I said, so nervous another pig a couple miles behind us lay in wait.

To people reading this: Get out there while you can.

1978 Pontiac
Grand LeMans Safari Station Wagon

Took forever to warm the thing up.

Notable instances include driving a station wagon FULL of buds to Crystal Mountain and making it there, and, all the way back. Complete triumph. Had my 1989 Sims Switchblade stolen out of the back of it while in class at TBA. Mom and Dad claimed it on their insurance, and I got a new board! And finally, when the sonofabitch “threw a rod” at the Cass and South Airport intersection.

2001 Volkswagen
Passat Wagon

“Big S”

My first real vehicle purchase, battling any number of cutthroat dealer fucks in Orange County. Those fuckers just wouldn’t budge on price. Bought Big S for $27,000 with 7,700 miles on it. It was just six months old, and someone had already traded it in.

2008 Ford Econoline
E-350 Passenger Van

“The White Whale”

This rig was procured for a series of “World’s Longest Yard Sale” road trips from Michigan down to Gadsen, Alabama. Dale and I would drive it back home, and Jess and Evan would fly in and we’d go from there.

2011 Volvo
XC-70 Wagon

“Big Vee”

The first BRAND NEW car I ever bought. Next time you are in the shop, remind me and I’ll share the harrowing tale of how I worked that salesman and miffed financing department down to a somewhat reasonable price with stagecraft.

2014 Ford Econoline
E-350 Passenger Van

“Gas Pig”

Bought this guy for the DDC Book tour in the fall of 2016, promptly dragging it to MAACO to get thing dipped in Pantone Orange 021. The guy pulled out all the stops and upsold me on the “factory” paint job. Fuck the prep guy who broke the some parts.

I had driven to and through every state except Hawaii before I was 25.

Notable Road Trips

This section is shamelessly “UNDER CONSTRUCTION.” There’s gonna be a lot of shit to get in here. Road trips, vintage photos and loose memories that smell of brake dust. Fuck yeah. Stay tuned, road dawgs!

August 1993

“Moving Out West”

Michigan to Oregon with Bryan Aleshire.

October 1994
“Back to Oregon for the Winter”

Michigan to Oregon with Chad & Darrin Smith.

August 1995
“Down to the Desert
and Back Home”

Solo mission in Al the van. Bend down to Vegas to Fort Collins and on home.

October 1995
“Back to Oregon for the Winter”

With Mike Buckmaster.

Fall 1996
“Back to Oregon for the Winter”

Solo mission. Pulled over in Greybull, Wy. and extorted.

January 1997
“New Year’s Westbound Bullet”

With Jay Floyd and Jarrod Salisibury. Breaking in Jay’s hand-me-down ’86 Isuzu Trooper.

Spring 1998
“Bend to up to Anchorage”

With David Brust, Fred Green and Matt Leonard.