The DDC “Gas Pig”

Do graphic designers go on book tours, in their own vans, at that? Who gives a rat’s ass what the answer is, WE SURE AS HELL WERE. And that meant finding a cargo van, then getting a paint job, then loading that pig up with as much merch as we could fit and hitting the big road. And we did just that.

I started hitting up lots looking for a cargo van, y’know with the big, beautiful side panels and all. But when you take those for a spin, the lack of insulation and trim is quite a rattling mess. The passenger vans had to be smooth to the touch for a group of frenzied churchgoers. We quickly changed our search and locked in one with 40,000 miles on it down near Salem. Paid $22,000 for the thing. This was in the summer of 2016. The rig was a little over a year old, and those miles were “rental miles” as this one came from Enterprise or something.

I tried to pay with cash for it, to procure the best, rock bottom price, but got an even better deal financing the thing. Had to go that way, and paid it off within a couple years of stupid monthly, automatic payments.

Long live the DDC “Gas Pig!”

Rig Specs:
01. 2014 Ford E350 Econoline Van
02. 10-passenger seating, with all seats removed for maximum tonnage.
03. Murdered-out front grill courtesy of Vanagon Life, Salem, Ore.
04. V-8 “Gas Pig” engine.
05. 12/16 MPG City/Highway.
06. Automatic transmission.
07. If the van is rocking, don’t come-a-knockin’.
08. As these words went to print, the mileage was 107,000.
09. Bought it for $22,000 in 2016, just a little over a year old.
10. Totally got upsold on the paint job. Pantone 021 factory paint job.
11. Lovingly known as the “Gas Pig” in certain circles.

Woke Up To A Broken

Sideview Mirror

Dad taught me to fix my own shit at all costs. “Aaron, the moment you drive that van onto Ford dealership lot, you are already losing money.” And he’s right. To get a new sideview mirror installed was something like $500. How do I know this? I called the place, sat on hold forever, finally got some snake oil “specialist” from the “Service & Parts” department, and asked them. $500? Ugh. So I ordered one off of Amazon and fixed the sonofabitch myself. Just like my Dad, Uncle Tom or Uncle Bob would have. Sure, it took me all afternoon—feeling around the panels, horking on things and then putting it all back together—but I figured it out and there’s an odd satisfaction there that still lingers each time I use that mirror to back myself into some sketchy spot.

Precarious Transport

Around Portland

My buddy Chuck Pearce called and said, “Got some flat files we are getting rid of. They’re all yours if you want them!” And I simply replied, “Will be there in twenty minutes. Don’t let anyone look in their direction!” And I raced up to Vancouver to pick up this 30-drawer BEAST. Will have it the rest of my life, and to Chuck: “Forever thankful, man. Love ya!”