Things We Hate

Just getting it out there. Take it with a grain of salt, people. Well, not anything Trump-related. Fuck that guy FOREVER. And Kid Rock can suck it, too. Those vile things are non-negotiable.

 
  1. Don Trump.
  2. Don Trump’s hair.
  3. Don Trump’s voice.
  4. Don Trump anything.
  5. The insufferable MAGA movement.
  6. Kid Rock anything and everything.
  7. Hollywood and all its trimmings.
  8. Pop culture performers.
  9. Pop culture parasites.
  10. Pop culture profiteers.
  11. Pop culture paparazzi.
  12. Nü Metal.
  13. Sitcoms.
  14. Saying “literally,” literally the wrong way.
  15. Summer heat above 77 degrees.
  16. Cop stance.
  17. Turbulence at 30,000 feet.
  18. Taking off in a big-ass jet plane in a storm.
  19. Air traffic control delays.
  20. Missing a flight.
  21. That middle seat, anywhere, really.
  22. Missing that seat upgrade by one person.
  23. Dropped cell phone calls.
  24. Loud fucks on a cell phone.
  25. Tsunamis.
  26. The Iraq War.
  27. Charley horse wake-up calls.
  28. Flat tires.
  29. Grooms wearing sandals.
  30. Anything with a fuckin’ “Beach Theme.”
  31. People who are mean to dogs.
  32. Opportunistic, bloodsucking mechanics.
  33. Sock and sandal combos.
  34. The random mall-dwelling “Prince of Dorkness.”
  35. Hot Topic bondage pants.
  36. Malls.
  37. People who say “Woo-Hoo.”
  38. Dust bunnies.
  39. Spiders. (Actively working on this one.)
  40. Halitosis. And other fake diseases.
  41. Bills.
  42. “Detuned guitars” by visiting “musicians.”
  43. New and mysterious guitar neck dings.
  44. Lost remote controls.
  45. Paper cuts.
  46. Bad kerning.
  47. “Clicking” hard drives.
  48. Sore throats.
  49. Missing home.
  50. Overconfident utilikilt bros.
  51. Kitchen humor.
  52. Sushi.
  53. Tribal tattoos.
  54. Abercrombie+Fitch bullshit.
  55. The 405 from Los Angeles down to Irvine.
  56. Surfer lore.
  57. The word, “Dude.”
  58. Fucks who do the “Yah, yah, yah…” quip.
  59. Happy hikers.
  60. Milk with dinner.
  61. Getting yer car towed.
  62. Encores.
  63. Artichoke hearts.
  64. The Republican party, those spineless fucks.
  65. Creed.
  66. Flight attendant attitude.
  67. Aqua Socks.
  68. “Uncle” Vans shoes.
  69. Golf sweatshirts.
  70. Faux “worn” hats. Motherfuckers.
  71. Faux “worn” anything.
  72. Devil Beast Wife Complex.
  73. Snowboarding Scene Claustrophobia.
  74. Toby Keith.
  75. Toby Keith’s nose.
  76. Toby Keith’s facial hair.
  77. Jock patriot anthems.
  78. Country singers in the Bahamas.
  79. Contemporary roadside signage.
  80. Recounting previous night’s drink list.
  81. Poorly-kerned anything.
  82. Predictable encores.
  83. Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg’s “acting.”
  84. Rascal Flatts.
  85. Hollywood, Nashville.
  86. Country music clichés.
  87. “American Chopper” design sense.
  88. Overactive bass players. Settle down.
  89. Painful band publicity shots.
  90. DIY disc/record packaging.
  91. “My Little Brother Did It” record design.
  92. Artichokes.
  93. Olives.
  94. Capers.
  95. Beets.
  96. Honey mustard.
  97. Mustard with seeds, bark and pebbles in it.
  98. Dancehall music.
  99. Dollar General.
  100. The strangling of American small businesses.
  101. Drivers who don’t use their turn signals.
  102. Matt Gaetz' fivehead.
  103. Rush Limbaugh anything. Good riddance.
  104. Cigarettes.
  105. Cigarette butts.
  106. Cigarette smoke.
  107. Cigarette ashtrays.
  108. Cigarette diseases.
  109. Cigarette deaths.
  110. Vaping.
  111. Vaping hardware.
  112. Vaping stores.
  113. Vaping client referrals.
  114. Vurps. (Vomit Burps.)
  115. Fish bowl smell in a glass of water.
  116. Infomericals.
  117. Ted Nugent, that smug piece of shit.
  118. Cute bands with nominal talent.
  119. A dull blade.
  120. Utah style wars.
  121. Warren Jeffs and his malicious ways.
  122. Subdivision signage. i.e.: Whispering Dicks
  123. Nike logos on a truck cab window.
  124. Stubbed toes.
  125. Cellphones with obnoxious ringtones.
  126. PBR aftertaste.
  127. The “strip malling” of America.
  128. Foundation makeup.
  129. The Tea Party.
  130. Guy Fieri.
  131. Michele Bachmann, that bumbling idiot.
  132. Sarah Palin anything.
  133. Whiteout conditions while driving.
  134. Stacked food.
  135. Arthritic joints.
  136. Prime mark abuse.
  137. Cab drivers who just don’t give a fuck.
  138. Airport luggage handler tarmac dudes.
  139. Red-eye flights.
  140. First class passengers, eyeballing you.
  141. Anything and everything Ted Cruz.
  142. Trolls.
  143. Soul patch facial formations.
  144. Bed bugs.
  145. Sandy Blvd. morning traffic.
  146. People on bikes running stoplights.
  147. Gratuitous public displays of affection.
  148. Slap bass of any sort.
  149. Stacked food.
  150. Uncomfortable elevator rides.
  151. Dust on your camera’s photo sensor.
  152. That distinct East Coast “Tough Guy”attitude.
  153. Mosquitoes.
  154. Mosquito bites.
  155. Period. To. Make. A. Point. Bull. Shit.
  156. Fret buzz.
  157. Guitar store clerks.
  158. Cats.
  159. Cat litter boxes.
  160. That fun “cat piss” smell in a house.
  161. Cat memes.
  162. Needles.
  163. Getting your blood drawn.
  164. E-mail attachments bigger than 5mb.
  165. Cheerleaders.
  166. Cheerleader moms.
  167. Overly-manicured dinner situations.
  168. Overly-manicured dinner photoshoots.
  169. Pictures of coffee.
  170. Pictures of coffee with cream leaves.
  171. Reckless cab drivers.
  172. Baggage fees.
  173. Pompous, wheezing graduate students.
  174. Tight seatbelts.
  175. Dinged corners on a stack of posters.
  176. Ingrown hairs.
  177. Elbow warts.
  178. Skin tags that just keep coming back.
  179. Anti-Vaxxers.
  180. Plastic surgery lips.
  181. Plastic surgery noses.
  182. Plastic surgery breasts.
  183. Plastic surgery eyes.
  184. Losing to Nakamoto at dice.
  185. Poorly-labeled computer files.
  186. Poorly-packaged eBay shipments.
  187. Drivers hogging the highway’s left lane.
  188. Loud Sky Club business guy phone calls.
  189. Bouncer attitude and stunted intellect.
  190. Things growing in the garbage disposal.
  191. Packing peanuts.
  192. Marjorie Taylor-Greene anything.
  193. Crooked horizons in photographs.
  194. California drivers on mellow Oregon streets.
  195. The “service” in Portland restaurants.
  196. “Spirited” fucks yelling in a restaurant.
  197. The day we lost Dad.
  198. Saying goodbye to Dad.
  199. Folky certitude from people after Dad died.
  200. Confusion over where Dad went.