New Volvo Rig
Finally settled a new rig.
A 2011 Volvo XC70 Station Wagon AWD Swedish Meatball Supreme!
Serious wheels, man. So blown away by this thing. My search went for about a month, starting with the Ford Edge, moving over to the Volkwagen Touareg, then a Jeep Cherokee, hell, even tried out a “way out of my league” Audi Q7. Simply, with this in mind: Best design wins. I plan on having this thing for, well, FOREVER, so every little button and line and wire better be FUCKING PERFECT. This sort of decision making factored into this pursuit.
SURE, SURE: Sure, we’re always flying the cynical flag. And Lord knows many of you will be thinking shit along the lines of “Never ever buy a new car, man!” and “What, another import, Mr. American-Made?” and “You can fit in that thing?” and other wild-ass sentiments.
BUT KNOW THIS: Just for once, in this life, or maybe a long line of shimmering reincarnations, I wanted to buy a brand spanking new car. Just once. You know, where you kinda enjoy getting in the thing, etc. Just once. And I finally did. Took me 37 years.
AND THIS: Hands down, the overall craftsmanship of the Volvo beat out all competition. Sorry Ford, sorry GMC. Hell, I’m sorry America, you are close, but not there yet. Sweden’s got you licked with these. Still. Sorry. When you hit my Design G-Spot, I’ll jump ship from the land of imports. But not until you hit it. So close.
AND OF COURSE, THIS: This thing is comfortable, and fits me, which is paramount, you know, for a “man of size.” This is stuff I had to consider. Packing myself inside the new 2011 Despair by whatever forgettable car company wasn’t gonna cut it.
GONNA MISS YOU: When I bought Big S the Passat in 2001, it was such a triumph. The $7500 I put down on the thing took me a fuckin’ year to save. The rest, I financed through the roof, and man, sweated out those monthly payments for 60 long months, faithfully maintaining the rig, BELIEVING in it. Never was late on one payment. And man, I got a good 160,000 miles and 468 incredible roadtrips out of him. Well, I handed Big S down to my little sister Leah and her beau Jacob, which is sad, but is a chance to see him live on. What a good rig. Gonna miss you. Enjoy him you scribs, and check his oil regularly!
YOU BIG GASHOLE: Then I bought that goddamn gas pig of a van a year and a half back. Fun rig, but just not sensible in the end. That hurts to type that. I did my homework and everything, got a killer price on it, and then it turned out to be a bit of beast. Couldn’t park it in the parking garage underneath the shop, each time you’d fill it up it was $90, and man, it was just “too much rig.” Got some good roadtrips out of him, and those memories are worth every penny that the trade-in yesterday didn’t cover. The dealer gave me a rippin’ trade-in price on the new Volvo, so I had to go for it. And I did.
WAY EXCITED: So I popped for a brand new Volvo, and man, it’s got Bluetooth buttons for my phone so I can make hands-free calls around town, and a hidden iPod jack, and the coolest trunk/spare tire zone you ever fucking saw, and a big comfy cockpit, and some real pep-in-his-step, and front and back bumper sensors, and a thumpin’ sound system, and he smells SOOOOO good, and man, the steering wheel alone is something to marvel at. And I have been. At a stop light today, I just sat there holding that steering wheel…caressing it…and then the yahoo beeped his horn behind me. Just kinda lost in the whole thing, and, whatever magic there might behind a purchase of this magnitude.
CRY WITH US: This is a big deal for me. I’ve saved for years. I bought that rig with a glowing smile, knowing, without a goddamn doubt, that every penny put toward the thing was a penny made by my hands. My hands. All me. I’m proud as hell about that. It’s a big, mean world, and man, shit can get the best of you. Pulling off that lot, I had this weird sense of, “Damned if I ain’t making it work, man.” Whatever that “it” is, I just have to recognize the beauty of this whole mess, and how cosmically lucky I am. Hard work, luck, more hard work, etc. Gotta keep fighting, and, at some point, take some time to enjoy some Swedish precision a bit.
So thankful. So Volvo’d.
Come by the shop and let’s go cruising. Fucker’s got 47 miles on it. Can you believe that? I can’t. Damn.
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SPECIAL THANKS TO:
- Leigh for putting up with my nitpickin’ search.
- Duane from Herzog-Meier in Beaverton for the courtesy and space.
- Doran who handed off the vehicle. Very thorough.
- Even the finance guy was cool. Firm. But cool.
- Tom the Dad for his help on the final price. Thank you, feet-squeezer.
- The entire country of Sweden.
- Swedish engineering.