BIG GODDAMN NEWS

And like many sad chapters discussed, relished and celebrated on these pages, we’re woebegone (yet relieved) to announce that the house deal fell through. Funny choice of words, as the inspector found some crumbling corners of the foundation, which made all the difference.

Hopes were high, and once again, we get squashed.

We fight to stay strong. An air of “heavy-heartedness” lingers.

The inspector did his walk-through and for the most part reported “flying colors.” There were some small things to note, like reverse polarities of outlets, soil-to-wood infractions and cramped rain gutters. No big whup. Fixable, cosmetic shit. But, as we “sounded” the foundation, hunting for loose zones, we came across some ugly cracks. A couple swigs of a Big Gulp later, the diligent inspector looked up at me and said, “They might just be surface cracks. I’ll know if they are trouble when I get down under the place.”

Well, they trouble they were. The foundation was crumbling, and with a poke of the stick, the cement would crack off with very little effort. Now, this is commonplace, but unfortunate. Plus, with a good estimate and some back-breaking cement work, the corners could be fixed.

So I had a night to think about it, and well, this dismal-yet-common news soured my spirits real bad. Suddenly, that little house didn’t seem so big.
Suddenly, that “lean” to the garage was pronounced. Suddenly, the excitement was replaced with a anxious distrust for the whole fuckin’ deal.

So I pulled out.

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Back to the drawing board. Sonofabitch.