FLEW IN TO BOSTON THIS AFTERNOON: I’m here on official business, people. I’ve got a gig at the HOW Design Conference, and will be speaking this coming Sunday at 45 minutes past three in the afternoon. Sharp. We’re here to “brandbuild” and “meet and make friends with 3,500 people” and “peruse state-of-the-art paper swatchbooks” and “brush up on my Boston accent.” In that order.

That’s the “business” portion of this mission. Let me delve into the “pleasure” portion: Leigh’s on a flight out of Portland right now, and we’re armed with a rental car, iron wills and a little spending cash. We’re gonna tear up this fuckin’ town a little bit when I’m not hanging out at the “Tips for Dynamic Email Signatures” round table. She’s got a list, and we plan on seeing some Boston.

I flew in, was punched in the face by 101-degree dogbreath heat, grabbed a Jetta rental rig and hightailed it downtown to the flophouse the top brass of HOW have me in. You oughta see this place. A real dump. How dare they make us brave the 800 thread count on the sheets! How’s one do it, HOW? We kid. We are happy as shit to “be at the Sheraton” and plan on using every towel, soap and pillow. Super nice.

We’d like to lodge a complaint about the fee for the internet fee in the room: It’s 2012 you money-grubbing bastards at the top of the pile at Sheraton Death Holdings, LLC. 13 bucks a night? I know it’s a fast world and all, but shit, I already had to pay top dollar to those valet vultures downstairs.

Other than that, we’re happy as hell to be here, thankful to be called up to serve and excited to see some cool shit the next couple days. Thank you, HOW.

Tonight, a bunch of us hit a Red Sox game at Fenway Park! My first time there. We were a mile away form the action, way out in right field, but man, it was a gigantic thrill to be there, cheer for the Sox, eat a couple hot dogs and think about Babe Ruth, Carl Yastremski and Bill Buckner. Boston, you should forgive Bill Buckner. That’s life. He’s a good guy.

Darryl Norsen came along, and it was awesome to shoot the shit about records, bands, art, shoes, cities and whatever else under that hot Boston sun. Great meeting you, buddy. Friends forever! Done.

It was great seeing Denver’s Genghis Kern, Kansas City Kami, Von Glitschka, Justin Ahrens and all those other wildcats from HOW. See you this weekend! And hell, ran into fuckin’ Bob Smith. My Portland buddy. That guy GETS AROUND. About as cool as it gets…running into that bad-ass on a Boston street!

Okay, I’ve got to get some shut-eye. Tuckered out. Got a big day tomorrow. Gonna start the day off with a visit to the “How To Make Yer Boss Hate You” seminar. I look forward to it.

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TOMORROW: We’ll show you the poster we made for our Boston fiasco! Wicked.