THOSE X-RAYS DON’T LIE: Well, that tooth that’s been giving me some zaps? It’s coming out. The dentist confirmed it this morning. At some point, who knows when, I chipped a tooth on the edge of an old filling. That hole allowed food in. That food I could get to with floss decayed the inside of the tooth. The x-ray was glaring. Beig, beautiful teeth, then a big ol’ dark spot which meant one thing: Dead tooth. Or, almost dead tooth. Nevertheless, the sumbitch is coming out. Thursday.

On a high note, today was the first day of a new dental friendship for my big mouth. Day one of a new life. Tooth time.