Went couch shopping today with Mom, Leigh, Leah and little Oliver.

Real hard-ass shit, you know? Just, uh, embarrassing to be in their with all those housewives, so “busy” spending the family loot on things to make their lives perfect. I just want something comfortable to plop down after a “long, hard day” of sitting on my big, white Midwestern butt navigating digital this and that. More embarrassment.