GOODBYE SNAP, CRACKLE & POP: How to clean yer records with wood glue! Interesting. Intense way of going about it. Dale said you can get records cleaned at Discourage here in town for a buck a pop. Something like that.

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EVERY KIND OF AIR GUN: Well, in the “.177 Cal” classification. All of ‘em. Here goes: “AirGun in .177 cal.” All kinds of wild and kinda scary stuff in there. I had a BB gun as a kid. Killed a bird one time, and still feel bad for taking that little chirper out. He was high up on a power line and I picked him off, utilizing whatever sniper talents I may or may not have. Poor bird. Sorry, buddy.

Oh yeah: What’s that line from A Christmas Story? (Trick Question: If you don’t know what I’m referencing, well, you haven’t lived. Crawl out from under that rock, fucko.) (This link was lifted from Coudal Partners’ daily signals feed using our patented “five finger discount” hyperlink technique.)

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THE SUN IS SHINING BRIGHT HERE IN PORTLAND: So you should get with it and get some light in yer goddamn life with our latest COLORS installment of Field Notes. We’re calling it “Packet of Sunshine” and by Gary, you need some of these. So yellow. Warm up that shop. Let some light in. Light it up. Get yellow with us. Act now.

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SPEAKING OF YELLOW STUFF: My little brat sister was just in, picked up Gary, he got all excited, peed wildly into the air, and I’ll be darned, both of them were right in front of me. My sweatshirt smells like a subway stairway, or, a urinal, or, Gary’s undercarriage. You choose. Real awesome. No link here, just the warm, wet facts.

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JUST HAD TO SHARE THIS ONE FROM WISCONSIN MITCH: This tastes like shit, but knocks out a cold. It is from my brother in-laws Mom, who was a Brazilian Voodoo Priestess. I shit you not, my friend. We call it the Death Potion.

Ingredients: Lemon, Garlic, Cloves. Water

1) In a small pan (or cauldron) pour 4-6 cups of water.
2) Put 6-10 cloves (you know, the ones you can poke into oranges and make cider with) into water and boil. Boil until the water is tinged brown. This may take between 30-45 minutes.
3) Add garlic: Take about 6 good size pieces from the garlic clove, peel them and add to boiling water.
4) Slice up a lemon into thin slices and add to water. Simmer or low boil for 20 more minutes.
5) Drain liquid into mug. (Its the liquid you want, dump the cloves, garlic and lemons).
6) Drink it! (…the whole thing!)

If it’s done right, it tastes awful like stomach bile. (I usually keep a large glass of water nearby to chase it down).

I’ll let you know how this one works out for me. Ulp!

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ON THE PLAYER:

01. Death - For The Whole World To See
02. Tortoise - Beacons of Ancestorship
03. Paul Westerberg - Stereo
04. Baroness - Blue Record (Incredible packaging!!!)