FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The Draplin Design Co. of Portland, Oregon partners with the Minneapolis Narwhals broomball organization as their official creative firm. Ryan “Ryno” Simonson, or, “the guy who’ll actually figure out how to print the goddamn jerseys” had this to say regarding the deal, “The DDC won the bid with flying colors. Sure, we don’t have a cent and like they give a shit. They are simply doing it for our love of brooms and of balls. Big balls.” He then added, “No one handles balls like the Narhwals! No one.”

The ink isn’t even dry on the contract and the first round of the logo is off and in the hands of the higher ups of the administration staff. Stay tuned, ballers.

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BEST TYPE GOING, REALLY: From the hand of Wayne Coyne, Flaming Lips category.

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SOMETHING DALE SAID, COMPLETELY SERIOUS: “Back during the bulk food craze…”

And we laughed when he said it. And then we went back to whatever sad pursuit we were going after on these screens.

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AND THEN OUR TALK TURNED TO THOSE ’80s, AND THIS STUFF: Generic Beer.

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JUST BECAUSE: What you drinkin’ man? “Whatever’s wet!”

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THE KING OF THE BREEDS, HAMMERED ON ALE: The 3 Dachshund Beer Company. Beeeeeeellllllllccchhh! Aweosme stuff. Wisconsin! Check out their loooong line of t-shirts. (Sent in by Mike Kirkpatrick, all the way from Alaska!)

Gary’s got some of his own “hot broth” for you all you dicks, if you know what we’re spraying!

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ON THE PLAYER:

01. Dead Kennedys - Plastic Surgery Disasters
02. Big Star - #1 Record/Radio City
03. Dead Moon - Echoes Of The Past
04. Nirvana - Bleach 20th Anniversary Vinyl Reissue