Drove for 560 miles across goddamn Montana today.

That’s all I got, besides one tired tuchas.

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HERE’S ONE THAT’LL WARM THAT RED, WHITE AND BLUE HEART OF YERS: New Balance = Made in the USA! “This is a shoe-making town, and always has been.”

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WE ALWAYS HAVE A STORY FOR YOU: Here’s a story that comes to mind about this one:

Dad and I did Route 66 back in 2005. Good times. From California, back to Chicago. From paradise back to home. Anyhoo, we’re driving across Oklahoma and suddenly I get punched in the face with an unholy smell. I look down, and Dad’s got his shoes off, and man, those dogs were not only barking, but they were giving off quite a scent. Being a man of action, I took matters—and his gnarled hooves—into my own hands.

I pulled off at the next exit, found a shoe store and made Dad throw the spent kicks away in the garbage can at the door. I remember him walking into the store barefoot, shaking his head and laughing.

We went in and fitted him in a brand spankin’ new pair of New Balance action shoes.

And we were tickled they were made in the states. (See above, readers.)

That’s just how you gotta do it sometimes. Taking action. For the better of all feet and noses.

(Wisconsin Mitch sent this one in, so thank him the next time you see him.)