All this talk of vans, and an old memory comes to mind. A painful one. Regression therapy? Nah. Just an old ghost from 20 years ago.

My dad had this monster Ford Econoline van back in the late ’80s. This would’ve been 1990. The van was an ‘83, and it was in need of a paint job for the upcoming winter’s rust season. It’s like mid- August, and the family is going on what we be our last family trip together out to San Francisco and back. What a hellride. That’s a whole ‘nother story.

So dad lines up a deal with a couple painter buddies and goes to drop the van off the day before our big trip. “What color do you want, Jim?,” the guys ask. My dad’s stumped, and in a flash of what some would call, “Brilliance” he simply takes off his rugby shirt and says,
“Just make it like my shirt.”

01. Gold stripe.
02. Red stripe.
03. Turquoise stripe.
04. Black stripe.

So gross. That goddamn shirt. He loved that shirt.

And that’s what the guys did, and I’ll never forget pulling into the driveway after that long, arduous trip and Mom’s reaction to Dad’s new paint job. Dad was beaming with pride. He was smitten. The rest of the family was flat our disgusted.

The story goes that my sister hated it so much, she made my dad drop her off behind her school, and she’d walk around the front. That kind of embarrassment.

Just make it like my shirt. Another one of the reasons why my dad kicks ass like he does.

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AN ADDITION TO BEN’S FAMOUS QUOTE: The only thing certain in life are death and taxes. Let’s add one to that famous quote: “Calls back from car salesman trying to make the big sale.” There you go.

The only thing certain in life are death, taxes and calls back from salesman trying to make the big sale. Works pretty well.

I’ve made my decision, and would like to thank the colorful cast of characters I’ve met over the last couple months helping me out with the purchase. If all goes well, I’ll be picking the thing up tomorrow morning.

You know who put me over the edge? Jim Felt did. I woke up to a kickass pep talk message on my phone. Felt knows a good van. Thanks, man. I’ll swing by to show you this beast.

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SLAB SERIF GREATNESS: Goddammit if House Industries doesn’t do it again and again. Check out their new Neutraface Slab Serif typefeace. Damn. And check those slab t-shirts. Pretty boss, if you ask us. Buy one. You need one.

More slab serifs. We’re real good with that.

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WRAP THAT RASCAL: A clusterfuck of condom envelopes and the festive graphics that adorn them. (This one comes in from Terri, out there in the interwebosphere. Thanks, lady.)

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KING OF THE BREEDS: Vancouver, Canada’s Willamina, the beautiful, little, dapple dachshund. Those eyes.

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BEST LAYER TENNIS INTRO, EVER: From Friday’s match of But Does It Float vs ISO50. Wow. Of course, we’re a little partial to this one, too: Draplin vs. Nakamoto.