VAN SEARCH UPDATE: Oh man, I’m so close, I can taste the rubber on the tires! I checked out a couple vans over the weekend, and a couple more this afternoon. I’ve for my search narrowed down to this: Ford 2008 12 Passenger E-350 Club Wagon XLT.

Made in the US of A, motherfuckers!

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am to reel this beast in. Of course, I am going to try. Basically, a big pile of rigs came in all over the Portland metro area—from Seattle rental fleets—and are selling at incredible prices. Just a year old, for half the sticker price from a year ago. Half the sticker price. Yeah.

And man, Dale found a beauty down in Albany.

It’s a good thing they wouldn’t swipe my credit card Friday, as I would’ve popped for this one right on the spot. I got ‘em down to $16,700, and that’s where it stopped. Hard bargains down there in Albany. 11k miles. Not a spot on the thing. Powertrain warranty up to 5y/60k. Bumper-to-goddamned-bumper up to 36k. Hell, even a free tank of gas.

Sure, I’m wrastling with all the “E150 vs E350” debate, and existential ramblings of, “How much will I really use the thing…” and complete buzzkillers like, “Wait, how many miles per gallon on the road versus around the city?” This shit could kill the whole thing, if I’m not careful.

You know what? Fuck it. I could die tomorrow. I’m gonna buy this van and enjoy the hell out of it.

I’ve worked my ass off for the right to write that sentence.

The Midwesterner in me and the countless stream of “what if” scenarios haunts. So you know what I did? I went and got a mountain of cold, hard fuckin’ cash out of the bank. Cuz you know, nothing talks like cash does. Financing? My ass. Payment plan? Get out of town. How’s a stack of hundreds sound, sucka!?

I fall asleep with that grill above on the thinker. And the idea of tearing this country a new one, criss-crossing these great states all summer long, working on projects, junkin’, visiting family, outrunning the fuzz and being free as possible.

Let’s make a deal! Stay tuned.

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ON MY MIND: Where all this Econoline stuff started.

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AND THEN THERE WAS THIS GUY: Big day at the marina.

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BIGGER THE BETTER: A ton of cool “Race Numbers.” No time to comment on them. Just really great. (And hell, whoever the hell sent these in, I can’t remember who right now, but, I love you forever.)

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KING OF THE BREEDS: “Rudy the Mexican Dachshund.” And of course, “Rudy the Bedjumper.”

Gary loves to jump from bed to bed when we post up at a hotel. That and bark like crazy when the housekeeper knocks on the door in the monring, completely giving away the fact that we smuggled him in the night before. Goddammit, Gary.

I love these dogs.

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ON THE PLAYER TODAY:

01. Neko Case - Middle Cyclone
02. Richmond Fontaine - Northline
03. Chooglin - Nice Place, Nice Party, Nice Folks