FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

WHAT: The Draplin Design Co., Portland, Ore., in close conjunction with Negativeb.com, Long Beach, Calif., Dale Allen Dixon Enterprises, Portland, Ore. and Draplin Tool Supply, Traverse City are pleased to announce a new adventure titled, “The World’s Longest Yard Sale.”

How we talk about this thing: “Four scrubs meeting up in Chicago, Ill., packing into some kind of rental rig, careening across Indiana in the middle of the dark, desolate night to Defiance, Ohio. Then the junkin’ begins. Four days of wild, sun-up to sundown treasure hunting spanning five states and some 630 fuckin’ miles. Not for the weak of heart. You man enough? What happens on the road, stays on the road.”

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WHO: Four bad-ass junkers. Four horsemen. Three men and a Dale. Over 1,000 pounds of beef.

01. DALE ALLEN DIXON: An eye for rare vinyl, rare western shirts, and hell, “rare anything.” From Lansing originally, but we won’t hold that against him. Frugal and fiscally appropriate, his survival instinct will keep our the rubber on the road. Can really knock ‘em back, if cornered. Ask him to show you how he represents “the number three” with his fingers.

02. EVAN ROSE: Hard to describe this guy. Grossest voice in the room. Quick-witted, and not afraid to get into “hot water” with a unfortunately-mouthed crass comment. Bankrolled by the Southern California dreamscape. Expert on Alpine Affairs.

03. JIM DRAPLIN: “Advanced Age” doesn’t necessarily equate to “Wisdom.” One of Northern Michigan’s finest citizens, Jim’s ability to “ferret out” deals and “wear a man down to tears in the bargaining process” are that of legend. Plus, he can get us Senior Citizen discounts on motel rooms.

04. AARON J. DRAPLIN: Looking Minnesota but feeling Oregon. Something like that. Husky frame good for “taking a hit by an offended yard sale proprietor.” White-hot hate for current presidency. Traveled “The South” many times. No stranger to a lonely road. Junkin’ as a way of life.

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WHERE: Defiance, Ohio to Gadsden, Alabama. Highway 127. Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia and Alabama, in that order.

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WHEN: Sunrise, August 7th - Sunset, August 10th, 2008. You can get the real dirt on the deal here: 127sale.com

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WHY: Because that’s a pretty fuckin’ long yard sale. Because there’s a lot of shit out there that needs to be rescued and into the right hands. Just because. No real reason, really. The pursuit of things “we don’t really need.”

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WHIP: 2008 Ford Explorer Gas Hog SUV thing.

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WHOA: It’s gonna be hot, so we’ll stay primed by drinking lots of fluids, and will keep the air conditioning pumping all day, set at “11,” killing polar bears and and plant life, far away somewhere no one cares about. Too many commas.

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WHAT THE FUCK?: No baby clothes!