Nakamoto, I told you I was gonna take you down!

(Barf.)

Man. That Layer Tennis shit wore me out. Real bad. Not enough sleep, being freaked out, under a microscope and oddly “battling” my good friend took its toll on me.

Here’s the whole match, volley by volley with a little commentary from me. Imagine that.

DDC VOLLEY No. 01

“Dave and I are complete opposites. On way too many things. Music, behavior, style, hair. Too many differences to list. Dave likes cats. I like dogs. I wanted to challenge him on a vector-based level, just to see how he’d chop my shit up. This was my opening volley.”

MULTIFRESH VOLLEY No. 02

“I knew it. Something organic and wild and unkept, but amazing. Dave wears scarfs. That’s like, “one of this things,” or something. I liked what he did. Dave is a master of the ethereal and beautiful. The crush pong ball brought back some painful memories, and then, I quickly remembered one simple truth about our pong battles: I always won! Facts are stubborn things.”

DDC VOLLEY No. 03

“I had the Gary ready. I didn’t have the setting. I did know that no matter what Dave hit back over the net, I was gonna have Gary eat it, then, take him out in the world somewhere. I didn’t know I’d take him out back for a quick piss.”

MULTIFRESH VOLLEY No. 04

“I liked this volley a lot. Nice colors and a mixture of real stuff and vector stuff and photoshoppery and just enough aggression. I liked the little, twisted-up thing. Nice hit of color.

DDC VOLLEY No. 05

“We’ve been playing dirty for years, so, it’s not like I was gonna try to make some goddamn artist statement or anything. The motion blur dave used was the catharsis for this one. I grabbed the 30D and found a book with a white cover, shot the shot, loaded it, and went to bat real quick mocking up the cover. My favorite part is the “Dr. David Nakamoto” byline. Ha! Still cracking up over that one. Oh yeah, this is image that fired Heller up enough to call me a “Redneck.” Yay.”

MULTIFRESH VOLLEY No. 06

“Back to cats, eh? And creepy ones at that. Poor little headless Gary.”

DDC VOLLEY No. 07

“This one was a simple documentary. Some pre-game juicin’ up. That’s all. I had the graphic ready, and the shots, and a loose idea of a way to put all my pre-game jitters into my head, as, truthfully, I was sweating this thing real hard. Still a little shellshocked.”

MULTIFRESH VOLLEY No. 08

“Now, here’s the Dave I love. I’m guessing he did the pill on his scanner? And ladies, you know what they say about man with good handwriting, right? Here’s what they say, “He’s a keeper.” Dave’s a keeper and I’ll gladly facilitate any possible interest from the inquiring females out there. Me, I’m off the market, so, sorry to be a heartbreaker.”

DDC VOLLEY No. 09

“I pledged to myself that I’d reduce one of Dave’s items down to a vector form. I was sweating that one. The pill was an easy choice, and, I wanted to tell the world that I did love Nakamoto, and didn’t what to “whup his ass” or whatever, and, all our friction is purely out of macho chumpatizing. That’s all. Thanks, Dave, for a lot of good years.”

MULTIFRESH VOLLEY No. 10

“Here’s the Multifresh I revere. Lots of shit, lots of hair, lots of little things and of course, some sort of gambling reference. (Cheating? Controversy? Helllll no.) Now, you see that broken paddle, right? That’s my old paddle from my Cinco days, that, in a moment of delusional shame and rage over a particularly bad beating at the hand of Dave, I broke over my knee or something. Theatrical, yes, but, absolutely justified. Let’s just say this much: At one point, I had Dave owing me “lunch for the next month.” Ha! Do the math on that one. All over pong battles. The good ‘ol days.”

Dave, I hear that spirit wind calling, Dave. Let’s go make some loot on the roulette table.

- - - -

Many, many thanks to all the good people who were rooting for the DDC. I appreciate it.

And to all who had it out for me, well, we’ll see you in hell.

Cory Grove had our back. A brother.