Spoke with Cory Grove from Cobra Dogs about food logistics.

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I know it’s an old rant, but, we’re gonna let some shit fly about a a big, orange store called, “Home Depot.”

You buy stuff for homes there. All sizes.

Man. I thought I’d get a door from them. Seemed like a good idea. Went in last week and set up the appointment to get the door sized up. Got the ball rolling. Fired up. Nice wood door.

The guy came out and “sized the thing up” yesterday. I waited the five days, patiently, so excited. Five days. He took literally a minute’s worth of measurements and was gone. Then he’s gotta “put the order in.” That’s two more days. Then you “pick out the door.” Another day. Then they “order” the thing. “10-12 days is the average time for the order to show up,” said the kid behind the counter. 13 more days. Then they “schedule the install.” Couple more days. Then a day to “put the thing in.” Then 2,000 days of “hating the thing.”

Let’s do some math here: 5 + 2 + 1 + 13 + 2 + 1 = 24 fucking days. A month, pretty much.

And here’s what gets me: At each step, the days are adding up, and I’m getting more and more sad, and I’m realizing this is what America deals with all day long. I’m sitting there, feeling like a big shitheap and look over at some couple sitting there, looking so sad and confused and lost. I had to get outta there. When I was finished up, I got up, said thanks, shook the kid’s hand and walked off. Honestly, it wasn’t the kid behind the counter. He was nice and helpful and apologized for being shorthanded that day. So thanks for being cool. It isn’t his fault. It’s the process. 24 days? Yikes. And that’s being hopeful.

I don’t know what I was thinking. I pride myself on going out of my way to support the little guy in every instance of my life, and here I was, feeling like a cog in the wheel of big box sickness.

I know what is was. It was the orange of the store. It always sucks me in. I love the color, “orange.” I like those orange aprons and orange endcap cards. Goddamn orange. Misleading me again.

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On a postive note, I’d like to thank the fellas over in Appliances for their help on my new gas range. Jim Roth, “Depot Dan” and this super-accomodating longhair kid were great and very, very helpful. Thank you for answering all my dumb questions and taking good care of me. I appreciate it immensely.

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Something we say, often, around these parts in reference to a certain, long, wild hound.

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Some shaving stuff, for all the shavers out there.

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Ballistic ball thrower devices designed up right here in Portland: Ballistic Dog. We got a call from Mitch from The Code Project called the other day and it looks like Gary might be getting sponsored. Very excited about this. Finally, Gary is earning his keep a little.

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The history of the stapler, as well as a ton of staplers.

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I can relate. I’ve been in the same scenario, with the same hopeful face.

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Paul Roberts might just have the best typewriter museum going.