Evan “Brokeback Mountain” Rose, halfway through his 17th glass of Bartles and Jaymes, Photo: DDC Archives
Well, what can we say? It was absolutely beautiful. Everything was, except for a couple of the guests. The Banff background just can’t be beat for celestial vows. Wow. The rustic, warm spell of the place was present at each stop we made. The drinks were flowing. The calves were roped. Friends were made. No tears were shed. No one was arrested. No fights broke out. No wrists were severed. No eyes were blackened. Nothing was called off.
Mark and Tevis are both graphic designers, so of course, everything was designed beautifully down to the tiniest detail. The invites, the seat placements, the vast assortment of party favors, the colors, the suits, the scenic backdrops…everything. The combined offorts of these shits just might have set a record in the “nuptial design†category. That is, until I get married up one of these decades. Be warned.
Jack Houston is a hell of a guy. A good handshake, boots and a big-ass belt buckle, he welcomed us and made us very comfortable, very quick. What a guy. Tevis’ mom was wild as shit. Rumors of barfights and topless escapades in downtown Banff were the talk of the town. And that was just at the wedding preflight reception.
Now, one has to wonder…did anything go wrong? I mean, you add an animal like Evan Rose to the mix and man, something is gonna get fucked up. What about Lance Violette? That goddamn hippie and his assortment of Phishy bandanas could derail just about any formal event.
I got ragged plenty hard for my pair of Skechers black shoes. Our thoughts on our social shortcoming: “Hey fuckers, I ain’t puttin’ on airs for anyone, espeically you dirtbags.”
Colleague Breakdown:
01. Jared Eberhardt showed up in a tailored suit. Of course.
02. Pat Bridges had a mystery stain on his shirt, which, luckily, was covered by his mismatched tie.
03. Cris Dabica shot straight the whole time.
04. Mike “Chief†Nusenow’s sweater looked like a pack of lifesavers.
05. Matt and Leigh “relaxed†by hiking every peak in the valley, going big game hunting and then, whitewater rafting every stream and creek, all before noon.
05. Lance Violette, pride of Stowe, wore green cargo pants.
06. Evan Rose sweated profusely, and it smelled like top shelf tequila.
On Banff: Banff was gorgeous, as were the outlying towns and valleys. The place is a secret, I’d say. Breathtaking, all of it. God’s Country, Canada. Get up there and breath in that air.
On Calgary: First off, any word with “Gary” in it, is cool with us. Word is, Calgary is growing up really fast. Has something to do with the gigantic, thriving influx of oil money of Alberta. Lots of hip lofts and highrise apartments were being built up. The place reminded me of Denver, without the pollution. It’s a-boot time.
