Every month or so I’ll get a shipment from the parents. In the box you’ll find the normal course of “care package standards” like treats or a new shirt or mail or whatever. I left the nest back in ‘93 and man, my mom has been the undisputed “Queen Of All Things Care Package.” Thank you.

This morning I awoke to another package on the back stoop. This shipment was extra peculiar. It was primarily from dad, and, offers a glimpse into the mind of a “master junker.”

My dad knows how to “ferret out” the good stuff. He’ll find the most amazing little trinkets/contraband* in his travels. Some of the stuff hits the target exactly, and others, hell, he might be way off course, but, that’s not what gets me. It’s the fact that he’d thinkin’ about me when he comes across an old Union membership button or vintage patch. Thanks, dad.

(*What classifies this bounty as “contraband” is the simple fact that for the most part, dad is banned from bringing new stuff into the mass of treasures he’s already amassed. Mom patrols with an eagle eye. Believe me.)

With that, I introduce the “Pioneer Pocket Saw.” Made in Germany, simple in construction and unassuming to the naked eye, when you actually feel the barbed teeth you quickly realize: This little fucker is barbaric! (Much like a0 good barbarian should be.) Sharp as shit and downright nasty if used the wrong way. Perfect. Plus, get a load of that crazy Euro “smart quote” action on the kickass packaging. Weird shit.

Some details for you to get in real close to:
01. A welcome addition to the DDC factory Floor.
02. “Could saw through yer fuckin’ arm, if the unfortunate situation arose.”
03. “Weird ass Euro smart quotes.”

Other treasures in the cherished shipment:
01. “A fine assortment of old buttons.”
02. “Detroit Building Trades Council, Electric Works 58, 1954.”