Got the air conditioning installed yesterday.

In no time the house was down to a bone-chilling “68 degrees.” Gary developed a mild case of hypothermia. I enjoyed convulsive shakes of teeth chattering. Gary wrapped himself in a blanket and told tales of “sweatier days of a recent past.” My eyelids froze shut at one point. Gary took a pee in the living room, which instantly turned into a dangerous patch of “yellow ice.” The ants that normally enjoy the kitchen’s spills and droppings left for warmer climates. Hot showers were offered to all visitors over the course of the day. Lovejoy dropped by to pick up some files and shivered the whole time. Neir came by to tend the lawn and used his mane as a neckwarmer. At one point Gary wondered if he’d have to cut me open and climb inside me, like a Taun-taun on Hoth.

And of course, it’s 62 degrees outside today, so, the new unit waits—on guard—for the coming heat.