Comes a time when a man has to make a decision. A decision that could make or break a good livin’ situation. Pinch those pennies, live high on the hog…whatever one’s path, we’re all crunching through the cogs in the big gearbox. In this advanced culture the horse and cart have sadly fallen to the wayside. We are forced, through involuntary participatory involvement, to adapt to the demands technology and progression place on us. Walkways, driveways, parkways, freeways, highways. And this is California and man, you gotta have a good rig in this dump.

Comes a time when a man needs to settle his transportation woes.

The last couple months, as torturous and unsettling as they may have been, have resulted in a final moment of completion.

The journey was long and it was ugly, you bet. Doin’ battle with those parasite car salesmen can bring a man to his knees with each half-ass handshake and twinkle of the eye. The Draplindusties Design Company is pleased to announce the acquisition of a rig. We found ourselves a good rig, our #1 pick:

2001 Volkswagen Passat GLX V6 Wagon. The whole deal. All the little gadgets and niceties. Leather, sun roofie, heated seats for sub-zero arcticlands, healthy sound system, CD changer, Audi tiptronic shifting, cruise, tinted windows and even power seats. Whoa. Lap of luxury. Jesus as my co-pilot.

Brand new? Nope. A mere 7500 miles on it, making it “used.” Hardly. The story goes as such, “The wife wasn’t happy. She wanted an Acura. The husband traded it in after 5 months. You think a guy who makes 200 grand a year cares about depreciation?” Hmmm. We all know how those brand new rigs depreciate once they leave the lot. Well, were hopin’ we beat that game a little bit. The price was good, fair and hard to beat elsewhere. Comes with a big warranty. It’s spotless, articulate, spacious, dialed, ergonomic, precise…I could go on and on.

Guy who sold it to us was named Wayne. Go figure.

So wish us luck in this new chapter. We’re starin’ down what seems like a lifetime’s worth of payments, but, that’s the game. We did our best, laying down ample cash and fighting for a reasonable APR percentage. Being official first timers, we understand that the bastards have us right where they want us. Oh well. You can either get busy driving or get busy walking. Same goes for living and dying.

We’re goin’ cruising.