WE’RE IN THE ASS CRACK OF MIDDLE AGE: Turned fifty and I’m sleeping with one eye open, watching for that Grim Reaper! Hell, I don’t even buy green bananas anymore, considering my advanced age. It’s weird aging. Fifty years old. Who does that? Turns out, all sorts of folks. I need to trade notes with these people. Dang. Let’s embrace it, people. Glass half full! Waking up and thinking this right away, “Why does my (insert body part here) hurt, today?” Funsies.

Black/Yellow Mesh

Gray/White Mesh

Middle Age! Middle Age! Middle Age! Middle Age!
Middle Age! Middle Age! Middle Age! Middle Age!
Middle Age! Middle Age! Middle Age! Middle Age!
Why does my hair hurt?

01. Ballistic embroidered patch.
02. Durable materials up front.
03. Mesh ventilation system for maximum air flow out back.
04. Fitted for all heads. Grow into it.
05. Adjustable. Fits big heads, too!
06. “Snapback” adjuster in the back. None of that “fitted’ bullshit here.
07. Extra hit of DDC branding inside.
08. Cut, sewn and assembled in the U.S.A.!
$33.99 +$5 Shipping (U.S.A.)

Color

Black/Yellow Mesh Gray/White Mesh

01. Durable embroidery. Long lasting.
02. Colors inspired by hitting fifty…and contemplating MIDDLE AGE!
03. 3.0” wide x 2.375” tall in dimension.
04. Manufactured by our Portland buddies at Brewery Outfitters.
05. Great for backpack, jean jacket, fatigues, rucksack, feed-n-seed caps and many other spirited uses.
06. In stock forever, hopefully into our old age.
$7.99 Shipping Included!!! (U.S.A.)

Colorways

Black/Yellow White/Turquoise/Orange

01. Screen printed on thick, weather proof vinyl. Serious adhesives.
02. Comes in two colors: “Yellow/Black” and “Turquoise/Orange/Black.”
03. Colors inspired by hitting fifty…and contemplating MIDDLE AGE!
03. 3.0” wide x 2.375” tall in dimension.
05. Printed in the United States.
06. In stock forever, hopefully into our old age.
$6.99+$3.00 Shipping & Handling (U.S.A.)

For customers using PayPal, click the link above they’ll take it from there. For customers who aren’t using PayPal, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get back to you with an address to ship the funds to. We accept money orders and cold hard cash, so, get with it, man! All orders are shipped out as fast as we can. Usually a couple days after the order comes in. We ship everything USPS “First Class” rates. If you want quicker shipping, contact us and we can ramp it up to USPS Priority, or whatever you need. We aim to please! We cover the shipping in the states, but charge the basics for international orders. Before you place the order through our PayPal account, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get you a shipping quote for the goods you are interested in. As simple as that! Thanks!

©2023 DDC Dry Goods Div., Merch Dept., Portland, Ore.