KNOW YOUR CONDIMENTS: And live by them. I’m a “yellow mustard” kind of guy. Just the regular “backyard cookout” yellow stuff. Fuck all the honey, dijon, grains, seeds, twig, spices, bark, pebbles and whatever-the-fuck else people jam into their mustards. No thanks.

I’m gunning for about a Pantone 116 on my mustard.

This stuff ain’t easy. In Portland here, when you go out for a sandwich, I’m careful to vet the mustard situation. I’ll calmly inquire, “Can I get some yellow mustard on the side?” And every time, it’s some put-out, mouthbreathery reply along the lines of, “I’ll have to check to see if they can do that. Our mustard is an aioli-inspired mustard, infused with Peruvian honey, small batch dingleberries, with a dongsniff of sea salt…”

And I’ve been at the barbecue where we brought brats or garden burgers or whatever, and I brought some yellow mustard and left it on the table with all the other stuff. And I’m standing on the other side of the yard, and notice two fuckheads laughing at the mustard with that, “What’s up with this pedestrian shit?” guffaws and looks on their faces. Well, ha-fuckin’-ha. Laugh it up, peckerwoods.

So this is why we made this stuff. Just keeping shit simple. Yellow mustard. You with me? I’ve been told I have the “palette of a kindergartner.” I just know what I like. What’s so wrong with that?

My name is Aaron James Draplin, and I’m a yellow mustard kind of guy.

01. Yellow-ass mustard. A DDC action cap made simply for that.
02. Ballistic embroidered patch.
03. Durable materials up front.
04. Mesh ventilation system for maximum air flow out back.
05. Fitted for all heads. Grow into it.
06. Adjustable. Fits big heads, too!
07. “Snapback” adjuster in the back. None of that “fitted” bullshit here.
08. Extra hit of DDC branding inside.
09. Cut, sewn and assembled in the U.S.A.!
$33.99+$4.99 Shipping & Handling (U.S.A.)

Yellow mustard, baby! We made a patch for it! 01. Durable embroidery. Long lasting.
02. 2.5” x 3.0” in dimension.
03. Great for backpack, jean jacket, fatigues, rucksack, windbreaker, chef coat, hot dog vendor vest or on anything for that certain kind of mustard purist warrior.
04. Proudly manufactured by the patchmasters over at Brewery Outfitters!
05. In stock forever, until we dissolve back into stardust.
$7.99 Shipping Included!!! (U.S.A.)

Yellow-ass mustard! Say it loud, say it proud! Squirt it on thick! Fuck all those twigs, berries, seeds, gravel, bark and honey splotches and whatever else! Here’s the pin version of this beast… 01. Durable metal.
02. Good for lapel, collar, jean jacket, ball cap or backpack.
03. .40” wide x .83” tall. Agreeable dimensions.
04. Proudly manufactured by the pinmasters over at Brewery Outfitters!
05. In stock forever, until we dissolve back into stardust.
$7.99 Shipping Included!!! (U.S.A.)

For customers using PayPal, click the link above they’ll take it from there. For customers who aren’t using PayPal, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get back to you with an address to ship the funds to. We accept money orders and cold hard cash, so, get with it, man! All orders are shipped out as fast as we can. Usually a couple days after the order comes in. We ship everything USPS “First Class” rates. If you want quicker shipping, contact us and we can ramp it up to USPS Priority, or whatever you need. We aim to please! We cover the shipping in the states, but charge the basics for international orders. Before you place the order through our PayPal account, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get you a shipping quote for the goods you are interested in. As simple as that! Thanks!

©2018 DDC Dry Goods Div., Merch Dept., Portland, Ore.