Photo: ©2012 DDC Merchandise Archives

I recently handed one of these to a buddy and he instantly gave me this half-ass look and said, “C’mon Draplin, emery boards?”

Like it was a bad thing?

I told him to calm the fuck down and put the thing in his dopp kit, and to forget about it. Cuz just wait until that fucker needs to work on sharp fingernail, or hell, sand down one of his gross, infected bunions he’s always complaining about. He won’t be questioning us at that point. He’ll be thankful that we were thinking about these sorts of things in our merch pursuits. That’s right, Dale, you dick.

01. Stiff enough for filing traction.
02. 4-3/4” x 1/2” in dimension. Compact size.
03. Fits all hand styles.
04. Proudly made in the U.S.A.
05. Both sides offer abrasive grit.
06. Fierce black imprint, just to let people know who their filing with.
07. Technologically-speaking, “Not as dumb as our Two Bit Vinyl Card Case but still pretty dumb.”
08. Great item to stow away in that overpriced, artisinally-made waxed canvas dopp kit you just had to have.
09. Hand one to yer mom and watch her eyes light up.
10. Many uses. Here’s one: Calculated Prison Breaks.
11. Set of three emery boards. One for the homestead, the office and the dopp kit.
12. This one always goes over well with the ladies. That’s a hint, brothers: Makes a great gift for that better half of yers, who hates the ground you walk on.
Sold Out Until Further Notice

For customers using PayPal, click the link above they’ll take it from there. For customers who aren’t using PayPal, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get back to you with an address to ship the funds to. We accept money orders and cold hard cash, so, get with it, man! All orders are shipped out as fast as we can. Usually a couple days after the order comes in. We ship everything USPS “First Class” rates. If you want quicker shipping, contact us and we can ramp it up to USPS Priority, or whatever you need. We aim to please! We cover the shipping in the states, but charge the basics for international orders. Before you place the order through our PayPal account, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get you a shipping quote for the goods you are interested in. As simple as that! Thanks!

©2012 DDC Dry Goods Div., Merch Dept., Portland, Ore.