Photo: ©2008 DDC Merchandise Archives

Sometimes, I’m at a loss for words. Kinda rare, considering how loose-lipped I can be. Here’s one of those times.

I mean, just how do you sell one of these things?

It’s not like you need it or anything. No one’s life is really gonna get that much better or anything, when you think about it.

But here’s the deal. Say you have a grill of some raggedy-ass teeth with gaps and spaces and nooks and crannies and say, after each meal you find yerself using some gnarled fignernail to dig shit out. You know, that one little piece of pizza sauce herb or whatever?

Well then, our answer for you would be something along these lines: You need this. You are the kind of person who’s got a need, and we aim to meet that need. Simple enough.

Just think, a nice little canister in yer pocket at all times with a fresh toothpick in it, just waiting to scrape all that debris out of the thicket in yer mouth.

We’re here for good people like you. Just know that.

01. Junky plastic with a simple metal top.
02. 3.0” long x .40” diameter. Compact design, just right for a pocket.
03. Smooth design won’t mess with coins/car keys.
04. Good for cleaning the fangs after a mean meal.
05. Other uses include: “Testing cupcakes and/or cakes.”
06. For our brethren who partake in the “mean green,” this little motherfucker of a canister would make a good holding device for a thick spliff, or whatever you tokers call it. (For the record: The DDC does not condone drug use of any kind, but, would rather see someone “high out of their gourd” than “drunk as a skunk.” Our take on it. Yawn.)
$4.00 - Shipping Included (U.S.A.)

For customers using PayPal, click the link above they’ll take it from there. For customers who aren’t using PayPal, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get back to you with an address to ship the funds to. We accept money orders and cold hard cash, so, get with it, man! All orders are shipped out as fast as we can. Usually a couple days after the order comes in. We ship everything USPS “First Class” rates. If you want quicker shipping, contact us and we can ramp it up to USPS Priority, or whatever you need. We aim to please! We cover the shipping in the states, but charge the basics for international orders. Before you place the order through our PayPal account, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get you a shipping quote for the goods you are interested in. As simple as that! Thanks!

©2008 DDC Dry Goods Div., Merch Dept., Portland, Ore.