Photo: ©2012 DDC Merchandise Archives

“I’m no mathematician, but your father has been telling me two inches is six inches for 35 years.” -Momma Draplin, in reference to the act of creation that made us.

This handy, pocket-sized ruler will come in handy when you need to measure things that are small.

Some examples of how we use these:
01. Measuring up.
02. Calculating distances.
03. Dialing in Gocco registration.
04. Helping to pry Matt Kass’ foot out of his goddamned mouth after he says stupid shit.
05. Whittles nicely into questionable art form or dangerous, pointed object.

Good, solid American Pine wood contruction that, after some whittling down, could double as a sharp, deadly shank or some sort, good for street fights or hunting.

01. Pine construction.
02. “Gary Nose” Black ink pressed into that wood real hard, for life.
03. Combined with the slogan, “We” measure up!” this unit is lethal.
04. Six American inches, complete with accurate hash marks for “ease of use” measurement.
05. Will fit in your pocket neatly, with minimal effort.
06. Buy 50 of them, arrange neatly into geometric “teepee” formation, light on fire, then, tell a couple tall tales.
Sold Out (New order in the works…stay tuned!)

For customers using PayPal, click the link above they’ll take it from there. For customers who aren’t using PayPal, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get back to you with an address to ship the funds to. We accept money orders and cold hard cash, so, get with it, man! All orders are shipped out as fast as we can. Usually a couple days after the order comes in. We ship everything USPS “First Class” rates. If you want quicker shipping, contact us and we can ramp it up to USPS Priority, or whatever you need. We aim to please! We cover the shipping in the states but charge the basics for International orders. Before you place the order through our PayPal account, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get you a shipping quote for the goods you are interested in. As simple as that! Thanks!

©2012 DDC Dry Goods Div., Merch Dept., Portland, Ore.