Photo: ©2006 DDC Merchandise Archives

Sadly, the days of getting a freebie yardstick from yer neighborhood hardware store are fading fast. What used to be a “vote of confidence” for yer hard-earned business has turned into a cottage industry of slick-ass tape measures, laser guided levels and other doohickies designed to make yer measuring needs easier. Well, we like to keep it simple. The only difference between “our product” and the “old guy who works are the hardware store’s product” is that we don’t smell like cabbage.

“Ease-of-use” design, Example 01: “Good for measuring dogs.”
“Ease-of-use” design, Example 02: “Good for turning dogs.”

01. 1/4” thick pine wood construction.
02. “Gary Nose” black ink, printed on both sides, just because.
03. Some math: 36 big ol’ inches = 1 big ol’ yard = “Yardstick.”
04. Sorta precise.
05. A slogan associated with this item: “We’ll measure up.”
06. Shameless self promotion item. Just know this.
07. Proudly manufactured in the U.S.A.
08. A real pain in the ass to ship. Not afraid.
SOLD OUT!Thank you!

For customers using PayPal, click the link above they’ll take it from there. For customers who aren’t using PayPal, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get back to you with an address to ship the funds to. We accept money orders and cold hard cash, so, get with it, man! All orders are shipped out as fast as we can. Usually a couple days after the order comes in. We ship everything USPS “First Class” rates. If you want quicker shipping, contact us and we can ramp it up to USPS Priority, or whatever you need. We aim to please! We cover the shipping in the states but charge the basics for International orders. Before you place the order through our PayPal account, send us an email to “orders(at)draplin.com” and we’ll get you a shipping quote for the goods you are interested in. As simple as that! Thanks!

©2006 DDC Dry Goods Div., Merch Dept., Portland, Ore.